How’ve you been? It’s been several months since we last chatted so I’m assuming you’ve probably felt every emotion on the emotional rainbow in that time. I hope you’ve landed somewhere around happy.
I’ve been listening to and LOoooOOving Lady Gaga’s new album Joanne. I like it in its entirety but the song Grigio Girls really spoke 2 my soul. Last weekend I cried to it on the bus while I sat next to two 20-somethings having a conversation in which one of them uttered a truly remarkable phrase: “Back in my aggressively marxist days…” I didn’t catch the rest of the sentence, sadly, because I was too busy trying to keep my weeping quiet.
I was spiralling out
And she was so alive
A Texas girl real strong
Taught me this strong song
So when I start to bawl
She says, “let your teardrops fall”
The song, for me, is a beautiful tribute to bonds between women. Women encouraging other women to be emotionally vulnerable, giving permission to ache and cry openly. Women in pain throwing their arms around other hurting women, helping each other bear the weight and limp forward. Women doing silly things together, things deemed shallow and vapid by the outside world, and just having a good fucking time.
Some of the most important relationships I have in my life are the ones I have with my female friends. I wish I had a Kris Jenner-level budget because I 100% would’ve made a high-production “I Love My Friends”-esque music video by now. Sorry pals, all you get is a blog post and my undying devotion :^)
I’m so bored by the sentiment that girls can’t be friends because they’re all catty / gossips / two-faced / etc. I go to a women-centered college and I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve been asked by dull, beer-breathed frat boys, “An all girls school? How do you get anything done? Isn’t there drama all the time?” (It’s not in the slightest bit true and maybe the issue is how you view women, but this is supposed to be a POSITIVE POST so let me get my war flashbacks from frat parties outta here!!!!!)
I’ve learned more from my female friends than I have from anything or anyone else, I think. Here’s a little list of some of the things I’m grateful for about them:
They’re incredibly funny and great to be around. Spending time with them is rejuvenating, like an expensive hot springs spa or a giant, sprawling dog park.
By speaking openly about their struggles with mental illness, they gave me the tools, the language, and the support to get help for mine.
The passion they have for their individual fields is so cool to see. It’s inspiring for a Living, Breathing, Human Mess™ like me to see people have any sort of direction in their lives (the only direction I have in my life is One Direction, baby!!!!!!!!! ha……. I hate myself)
Since many of my friends have such different interests than me I get to learn cool new facts all the time. (It’s like getting lost in the depths of Wikipedia at 4 am but without the shame.) This summer I learned all about how you go about fixing anal prolapse in cows from my pre-vet friend Olivia. It involves a metal tube, who would’ve thought!
I’m grateful for the kind of conversations and support you can only really have in women-centered groups. The other week some of my friends and I had a sobering conversation about harassment– “Not every man does it, but every woman has had an experience with it,” Lily said. Life is a little less hard when you have a support system of women who just get it.
I’ve had 3 am conversations with my friends where I sometimes have to take a moment and just thank the Universe for bringing such wonderful women into my life. Like out of everyone on the planet I’m allowed to be friends with these creatures? Really? Me?
I’m grateful for the women in my life. If you’re a woman who thinks you “just can’t be friends with other women” please consider reconsidering. Surrounding yourself with women who challenge you, support you, make you laugh, allow you to cry, is the probably the best move you could make in this game o’ Life.
As always, I’ll leave you with a dog video before I shove you back into the cold, cold world. Here’s a video of a golden retriever puppy giving himself a bath and tucking himself into bed. What an icon, what an inspiration.